This morning I received this question from my favorite Danish cousin.
I am wondering whether being a hospice nurse prepares one for the goodbyes and final loss of a parent?
Karen Prins
What do you think?
Kath
One Response
Yes and No to the question of “I am wondering whether being a hospice nurse prepares one for the goodbyes and final loss of a parent?”
My mother recently died and I saw her about 2 weeks before she passed and I struggled on when or if to return to see her.
She would’ve cried if someone came in and told her she was dying. She figured it out on her own by our encounters on our last day together. She saw my facial expression (I had been crying in the hallway and tried to put on a good front before going in) she asked me “you’re worried”. Then right before I left she said “am I dying?” I told her “not today and God only knows that.” My brother told me that soon there after she didn’t fight as hard with struggling with her everyday cares after that.
Sadly, the communication on her day to day status was hard to extrapilate from the hospice nurse, the nursing home staff and my family members who lived there (I live 400 miles away).
I am glad I didn’t return. Emotionally as the daughter I couldn’t return. It was painful enough waiting until she passed.
My experience in palliative care allowed me to direct care from afar making recommendations.
The role of provider, daughter and individual all were fighting for peace of mind. The individual ruled in the end. I had to do what was right for me and take care of myself. My mother got good care. If I had been in charge of her care she would’ve got better care but the emotional toll would’ve damaged me.
Courtney Murrell is a PSW who works in hospice palliative care.
When she is not at work, she is spending time with her family, going on hikes or writing. Courtney is a lifelong learner and loves to share her passion for writing as a wellness practice.
One Response
Yes and No to the question of “I am wondering whether being a hospice nurse prepares one for the goodbyes and final loss of a parent?”
My mother recently died and I saw her about 2 weeks before she passed and I struggled on when or if to return to see her.
She would’ve cried if someone came in and told her she was dying. She figured it out on her own by our encounters on our last day together. She saw my facial expression (I had been crying in the hallway and tried to put on a good front before going in) she asked me “you’re worried”. Then right before I left she said “am I dying?” I told her “not today and God only knows that.” My brother told me that soon there after she didn’t fight as hard with struggling with her everyday cares after that.
Sadly, the communication on her day to day status was hard to extrapilate from the hospice nurse, the nursing home staff and my family members who lived there (I live 400 miles away).
I am glad I didn’t return. Emotionally as the daughter I couldn’t return. It was painful enough waiting until she passed.
My experience in palliative care allowed me to direct care from afar making recommendations.
The role of provider, daughter and individual all were fighting for peace of mind. The individual ruled in the end. I had to do what was right for me and take care of myself. My mother got good care. If I had been in charge of her care she would’ve got better care but the emotional toll would’ve damaged me.