By Melodie LePage
In September 2022, I became a primary caregiver for my grandpa after he was diagnosed with stomach cancer. My grandpa was not only like another parent to me, but he was also my best friend. In 2018, I was diagnosed with anorexia which led to a complicated relationship with my parents at the time. A year after that, my grandma passed away, leaving my grandpa living alone. Since my grandpa and I were both in a place of feeling isolated and were struggling, we really leaned on one another, especially after Covid hit. I would stay over at his house where we would cook meals together, have movie marathons, listen to music, and play cards. When he was diagnosed with stage four cancer, I felt lost. I wasn’t sure how much time we would have left together, so I wanted to make sure we made the most of it. However, with my grandpa becoming sicker, he eventually moved in with me and my parents, where we took care of him 24/7. With both of my parents working full time and my sister living in a different city, I would take on care duties during the day. These duties included administering medications, changing my grandpa, taking him to the washroom, feeding him, and monitoring him. All a sudden my relationship with my grandpa had changed. I no longer felt like his granddaughter and best friend, but rather his full-time caregiver.
A week before he passed away, my grandpa was placed into palliative care. It was here where I felt some of the stress of being a caregiver lifting. I was devastated, knowing this meant he was no longer well enough to live at home. However, it also gave us a chance to gain back our previous granddaughter-grandfather relationship. At the hospital, I would stay with him every night, as the staff set up a cot for me beside his bed. During the day, we would watch TV, play cards, talk, laugh, and listen to music. It felt like the good ole days again. One day I even brought a DVD of our favourite movie, and the hospital staff was kind enough to set up the DVD player for us to watch it. The doctors and nurses were incredibly kind and felt like they were a part of the family. They didn’t just take great care of my grandpa, but also looked after me, especially on particularly emotional days. In the mornings, my mom would stop by before work, when I would grab breakfast and bring it back up so we could eat together. One morning before my mom left, she joked with me and my grandpa that this was my college roommate experience, as I wasn’t in school at the time. This was funny, but also very true. It was the most relaxed I had felt in a long time. After less than a week of being in palliative care, my grandpa passed away. Once again, I felt lost.
Four years later, I feel like I’ve found myself. I’m a full-time student, enjoy advocating with other young caregivers, and have a great relationship with my parents. When I look back at my caregiving experience, there was a lot of pain and devastation. However, one of the moments I look back fondly at during this time, is the “college roommate experience” I got to share with my grandpa.
