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Written by Kath Murray
This is a post about life and about death. The life of our youngest son, and the death of our youngest son. Geordie was born on Dec 5, 1989, and he died at 30 years of age on January 23rd 2020. In that short life, he did a lot of living and loving and adventuring. Geordie leaves us, his great wife Shauna and their unborn baby (due July 2020), his family of origin, his bonus family, many friends and the people he touched in his 30 years.
I share this on the Life and Death Matters website, because it is a matter of life and death. Because I know many of you who read these postings, I know that together we care for people and together we care about students who face similar losses.
If you are interested you can read Geordie’s obituary but if you want to be inspired, have a look at the stories submitted to [email protected] and posted at www.geordiemurray.ca. If you were not able to, but wanted to, attend the funeral, you can read the talk I gave, or the talk Ted gave.
One of my favorite lines is,
To know Geordie is to love him, and to be known by Geordie is to be loved by him. To know him is a gift because you know you are loved unconditionally – without judgement.
It is surreal to be here, on this end of a sudden death, on this end of Geordie’s sudden death. There are so many thoughts and feelings in my mind and on my heart. Perhaps some of them I will share in the coming weeks and months and years.
Reflections of this moment on community and gratitude
On community – Ted and I drove Geordie home, in a handmade coffin, one last road trip with Geordie through the mountains. We drove off the ferry and were greeted by a long line of trucks and Geordie’s friends waiting on the side of the highway, waiting to welcome Geordie home. Imagine, such a greeting. We then drove into our driveway, greeted by my siblings who had arrived from around the globe to hold us up and to cry with us. During the following days we muddled through each day as friends organized an Friday evening gathering titled “Last Night on the Trail – Remembering Geordie through stories and songs’, followed by a funeral on Saturday afternoon with drumming, singing, sharing and snacks. How on earth were we so blessed?! I think of the covenant to mourn with those who mourn, to comfort those who stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places, even unto death – and I think, wow… this is community at its’ finest.
On gratitude – It is impossible to begin to express our gratitude to the many many people who shared their homes and their hearts, brought food and flowers and Kleenex, sent cards, emails and texts, and contributed to the gofundme project to help support the soon to be born baby! Some people we know their offerings, some we will never know. Tell me, how do we say thank you?
In future, perhaps I will reflect about the offers to sit in silence, the stories – oh how precious the stories, the knowledge – oh how helpful it was to have some knowledge, rituals – how special to have rituals that involve community.
But for today, this is my posting.
To our very dear Geordie, my wonderful, full of life, full of adventure Geordie. I miss you.
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